Renowned Ghanaian marriage Counselor, Frank Adofoli has observed that some marriages are failing to work out because men mistakenly settle down with women who do not believe in them.
He stated that in such situations, the men only consider among other things like women who are God fearing, intelligent, educated, beautiful, good at cooking and laying bed, a home maker without making an effort to find out if these women believe in them.
“Many young pastors have made this mistake; he sees a beautiful young woman who sings very well in the church, he imagines how great it will be to have her as a wife, to be part of his team and ministry but never bothers to find out if the woman believes in him and his ministry. He rush her to the alter only to realize things are not working”, he revealed in his latest article.
Read the full text below;
If you are a young man planning to settle down, what are kind of qualities in a woman do you look out for? Many men will tell you, they want a woman who is God fearing, intelligent, educated, beautiful, good at cooking and laying bed, a home maker, etc. Hardly will you hear a man say he is looking for a woman who believes in him.
Many young pastors have made this mistake; he sees a beautiful young woman who sings very well in the church, he imagines how great it will be to have her as a wife, to be part of his team and ministry but never bothers to find out if the woman believes in him and his ministry. He rush her to the alter only to realize things are not working.
Men need helpers, wives; not just any helper or wife but a woman who motivates them to become better people, a woman who helps him to see the potentials and greatness that she sees in him.
It takes such a woman to pray for you every day to become what she sees in you. It takes such a woman to stand by you when everyone doubts you. It takes such a woman to respect you even when you are broke and have nothing to show for the potential she saw in you.
It takes such a woman to be submissive to you, take your advice and instructions. It takes such a woman to serve you. It takes such a woman to comfort you when you have bad day or the going gets tough.
A woman who believes in you doesn’t disrespect you, she doesn’t insult you. She doesn’t discuss you negatively with others, she doesn’t compare you to others, she doesn’t force you to do things to please her. She is understanding.
She knows you are not perfect but she loves and respects you. Such a woman is an inspiration to her man for how she deals with his imperfections. She is loyal and doesn’t care about who wants her, for her man is the only person she wants. To her, between stones, He is the only diamond she found.
She is not the type who easily gives up or blames her man when things go wrong. Lots of men are in marriages filled with drama because they didn’t get married to the ideal woman they needed.
A man’s true helper has no time for drama for she knows her purpose in the man’s life. A marriage filled with drama is a clear indication that the couple are disconnected from the purpose and meaning of their union.
Men, get to know women before you jump into relationships with them, don’t get married to someone you don’t know personally. Take time to build a bond before you enforce a title. Getting to know what is in the woman’s mind should be more important to you than knowing what is between her legs.
If you don’t know what causes them to move or act in certain ways before you get married to them, you might end up wondering why the marriage is not working.
Last but not the least, don’t flash money to get a wife and then wonder why she only wants money. Money can get you a prostitute but not a wife. A wife will keep your matrimonial bed undefiled but a prostitute will turn it into hotel bed.
In conclusion “The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray” – Proverbs 12:26 (NIV).